Introspection & Retrospection
The last few weeks have been a bit emotional for me, with lots of horrible, sad memories and emotions from last year, forcing their way back into my life.
When I first started this blog, it was a reaction to many things that were going on around me at the time.
Peer pressure was one factor, having a bit of a laugh another,but the main one was the loss of my gran.
I wanted to tell people about her, but I wasn’t sure, no not the right word….. confident …composed… ready enough, I don’t know, but whatever it was, I wasn’t.
What I didn’t want was for her to be forgotten , but I had to pick the right time, and the anniversary of her passing, when she would have been 100 seemed perfect.
The right time.
There’s a song by a group called New Model Army called Ambition, the bit that really struck a chord is this part:
And when she’s gone forever, please don’t lay her down to rest
In a quiet little churchyard along with all the rest
Throw a great big party to remember that she lived
Give her headlines on the TV to remember who she is
Which seems to sum it up.
My entry One Year On, about my feelings for her, has had the most hits of all the other entries put together, and I have had the pleasure of making the acquaintance of some lovely people, folks that I don’t think I would ever had met or conversed with if not for that one entry.
Carole, Sarah, Foxy, Shelly ,Tinks ,Holly, Lea, all kind people who took the time to read my entries, give me support, through words and deeds, leave comments and just be there, at the end of cyberspace.
Perversely, because of the friends that I have made, who now know a little bit about her, I have achieved my aim.
She wont be forgotten, and as long as msn don’t delete my space ,some where in cyberspace she will always be remembered, for someone to come across one day and wonder “ what was she like? “
For that reason I have considered finishing this blog, ending on a high, so to speak, leaving “ One Year On” as an epitaph both for her and the Olde Seadog, the circle having been completed, …as it started so would it finish… but after much thought I changed my mind, for many reasons, but the main one being that already stated above…
Thank you all.