Hi everyone, it is I , l’Eclaire (the french one- not a cream chocolate one!), disguised as a simple Seadog returned from the land of sun, sea and fun to this cold wet place I call home
And to cap it all we are both completely fucked still , just can’t seem to get those 2 hours back again… or do we want to??
Where to start…well just a quick summary for those that can be bothered to carry on , we had a great time in Kos ( again ) , but still didn’t manage to get done all the things that we wanted to…
How can you spend 2 weeks (twice ) in the same place, and
a) not get bored stiff,
b) not manage to do everything you had planned to…
where does the time go to?
I have a theory about this,and its to do with perception of time.
When you are young, 3 years old for example, 1 day ( like xmas eve before xmas day ) seems like an eternity, but when you are 70 1 day is so short its breathtaking, and when my poor old gran was alive,at 98 she used to say that the months flew past.
Well my theory is… cough cough, clear throat, cough cough,
All dinosaurs are thin at one end, much much thicker in the middle , then thin again at the other end… ooops sorry wrong theory,
What I meant to say was, that as you get older your perception of 1 day as a proportion of your life gets smaller,an example of which is when you are 3 years old, 1 day is 1/1095 of your life,and is a relativley large amount of time, but when you are 70 , that day become 1/25550 of your life,and as such is perceived as a much smaller proportion of your conciousness……
Anyway I digress….
We had a bit of a 2 centre trip this time, spending 3 nights in Kos town,sandwiching in 3 days diving with Athina & Perikles Liamis at Liamis Dive Centre with a boat trip during the day, and some wild drinking sessions at night, which usually ended up in Shenanigans, where they had on this excellent group called Hobo Jones & the Junkyard Dogs, who are described by the illustrious Hobo himself as a " skunk " band that is a cross between a skiffle & a punk band…..
All they were was 3 not very irish ( Maidstone boys actually ) geezers , one with a washboard, one with a guitar, and Hobo himself with a pole,and a piece of rope attached to a large wooden box, which he stretched out to make some serious bass noises.
I was sceptical at first ( I dont really like Irish bars, usually too much trouble, I’ll get to that later ) but these boys were brilliant!
When I can get the video off my camera (I’ver lost the cocking usb lead & can’t get ANYTHING off the bastard ) I will post it here under its own entry, seriously boys & girls they were great.
if you want to learn a bit more about them then Hobo Jones & the Junkyard Dogs is the place to go, and if you are anywhere near Maidstone in the near future, then get yourself down to see them, well worth the visit!!
The first friday in Shenanigans was full of Irish folks out to enjoy themselves, which as the more educated amongst you means FIGHTING!!!!!!
This traditional celtic pastime was fulfilled by 2 women having a verbal set to,then a quality roundhouse kick, followed by much pulling of hair, a few scratches, many fucks, bitches, and see you outside jimmys.
It was really quite amusing, because the security were on them straight away, and they were both so smashed that 30 minutes later, they were dancing away with each other as though nothing had happened!!!
Birds… I don’t know……
On Saturday went to a greek nightclub in Kefalos called Survivor, which was a bit strange really, because it was a bit like 80’s disco, with all the blokes over one side, and all the chics on the other, but with banging greek club tracks
I went fishing with my mate Mike,off Paradise beach,just standing waist deep in water, with a piece of bread and some hooks on a line, and…..
caught my first fish!!!
Well done Seadog..what the fuck do we do with it now?
fuck me…. it was huge,a real moby dick.. ok ok , it was about a kilo, don’t know what type it was though, but I had caught it, and I was quite prepared to take it back to the Rainbow Restaurant,(our eatery of choice )and get Yannis to cook it for me, but some prudish english? tourists started objecting,and I had to put it back
Bollocks… my first fish & no proof.. tits..
Mike then said I could have a go on my own, but I wasn’t quite so keen on this, mainly because I didn’t have the faintest idea of how to dehook the fishy beast if another one decided to throw itself upon the hooks
What else, oh yeah, went to look at some houses in Kefalos, where it seems like the tourist boom is starting to take hold, as some of the " renovated " properties we were shown were pretty far from renovated, delapidated more like, and also fuck off expensive for what they are, so much so that our house buying activities will have to be put off for another year, or until we win the lottery, but rest assured mes amis, ye olde seadogs will definitely be relocating south eastwards at some time in our lives ( to Kos that is, not Ipswich! )
On Thursday (21st ) we took the ferry to Kalymnos a little island just off Kos, and also where sponges come from.
These islanders made their living by freediving with a stone tied around their waists (at first ) and full suit deep diving as times got harder, without understanding the principles of decompression sickness ( the bends ) and consquently, many many of these brave people died a horrible death, or were left mutilated by the after effects
We had a look at tne Maritime Museum, which contains many spongey artifacts, and aslo some of the tools of the trade, but more poignantly many photos of the sponge divers , and their families, which brought home just how hard life was for them.
We also visited another " museum " which turned out to be the house of the gent who sold the sponges worldwide.
This place was like a victorian palace, full of finery and lavish goods, the geezer who owned it must have been like a king……. where was the greek version of Robespierre when he was needed!!
This subject is worth a separate entry on its own, but if you want to learn more about Kalymnos & the sponge divers then have a look at this site.Diving Heritage.com
Saturday saw us loaded with presents and on our way back to blighty, where we duly arrived at 6.30am, just in time for me to get home & go to work at 9.00am
All I can think about is the guys off the boat, Steve, our mentor, Dane, Saara from Finland, Tom from Prague, Lucia, from slovakia, who is probably nearly the cleverest person I have ever met, and can speak fluent Slovakian ( obviously ) english ,hungarian,french, german ( but only when she has to ) , some russian… the list goes on, brilliant, Viktor & Timea from Hungary, Andy, Chris….and our friends in Kefalos, especially Mike & his family, Yiannis & Chrysoulla and the kids from the Rainbow Restaurant, Poppy & little Yiannis, who are getting married on 1st December good luck to them, and the island itself, beautiful,I cant wait to get back there, though it will probably be next July..bollocks
Glad to be back… not on your nelly smiler !
However , the one good side of our homecoming is….
Brilliant, 2 great wins for the England boys,watched in the quality bar Jazzmins in Kos town, a not so great game for The Villa against Man City, (watched at Popeyes in Kefalos, with the barmaid and Mrs.Dog as company) who are starting to look really good, a great game last sunday against Everton (2-0 to the Villa Boys ) , followed up by the worst game of football I have seen under Our Lord the holy Martin O’Neill, losing 1-0 to Leicester of all people.
Yes , its the Carling Cup, yes , its a joke cup, but you only have to win 5 matches and you are in Europe you berks!!
For fucks sake.. they were shit and I’m not talking about Leicester here ( though they were as well ) , no passion, no effort, no…. nothing.
Cheers guys, thanks for that, it was well worth travelling 4000 miles to see ( ok, not especially 4000 miles ) and coughing 30 squids to freeze our respective bollocks & tits off.
However, Leicester have pulled Chelsea away in the next round, and Chelsea are going to be desparate to give some fucker a kicking, so that will be the end of the foxes ho ho!!
Nect game for us is Martin " i’m too good to be sacked " Jols’ Tottingham Hotspurs, at White Hart lane.
Form says we should win, but we are crap away at the moment, so we wil probably save martins kosher bacon for him.by giving him a result.
Just watched House of the Flying Daggers on Channel 4…… what a brilliant film, the story isn’t up to much, typical angst ridden love story, but the cinematography is superb, plus the haunting chinese music make this a film worth watchnig twice ( at least )
Cor fuck me… I might not do this that often these days but when I do…..
And I’ve still got loads to tell you about our Kos ing activities….. but I will leave that for another day.
If you have got this far , well then very welll done A+….
If you haven’t… well there’s no point saying anything because you wont read this bit……
Just a final note… well done Carole for finally getting a job, and Happy Birthday Cat for your birthday just gone.. 21 again!!
Cock, cock, cock, cock and more cock!!!
4 -1 and we fucked it up…… yes Spurs fans we did fuck it up.
Woefull goalkeeping by " Englands No.1 " Paul Robinson saw the Villa rightfully on top and Martin Jol wondering where he was going to put his P45 the next morning.
Our lord & saviour Sir Martin O’Neill made a serious mistake & took off Luke Moore & replaced him with…….
Our version of a Blackpool donkey, Marlon " Earl " Harewood, and the game went to pot.
From 4-1 up to 4 -4 in 20 minutes, and if there had been another 3 mins it would have been 5-4 to them
" Lucky " dutch Martin lives another day, 2 points thrown away, and much urine extracted out of your poor old seadog today by his co workers.
Roll on Saturday when we play the hammers ( Lords favourite team ) …NOT!!!!
catch you soon folks