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Blame…

 
Letters from the hospital about mums care
Words of apology, how can they dare?
“She was old she was ill, she was very frail
We did our best ,but to no avail”
 
You’ve answered our letters of complaint
With words of conciliation and restraint
Whys and wherefores that seem so hollow
With no regard of what was to follow
 
She came to you because she was ill
Just some old person you helped kill
No food no water, infection running rife
Where were the checks that could have saved her life?
 
You say that what killed her was a deep rooted infection
Coupled with other ailments , which upon reflection
Might explain why she wasn’t getting well
Though the thought of that is putting me through hell
 
How could we have missed that she was so ill
She never complained, she just carried on until
That fateful night when she fell on the floor
And our lives changed completely for ever more
 
Ten days later she was dead
With most of her children beside her bed
Apart from me, I could not get there
I so hope she didn’t think that I didn’t care
 
A full inquest to follow at a later date
A chance for explanation, a chance to cognate
About the events and happenings of those last few days
As her body succumbed to the effects of her malaise
 
Her loss has affected me more than I know
I miss her persona, her warmth her glow
I feel like I’m standing in Morecambe bay
The sea’s coming in and it’s washing away
 
The constants of my life that have always been there
I feel I’m in quicksand, sinking into despair
A thought a sound can trigger those tears
That flow down my cheeks with sobs no one hears
 
Time moves on and so must I
I need to control these triggers that make me cry
To look forward in life and try to recall
Those happy times before the call
 
That took her to heaven into Gods trust
My life, my purpose all need to adjust
As I ready myself for the coming inquiry
To discover the cause of my mums expiry
 
Who is to blame???
 
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8 responses to “Blame…

  1. This is a stunning poem, although sad – your pain shrieks out from the screen. All I can say is I am here for you. ♥

    • Thank you Kathy,
      Praise from you is praise indeed,one of the finest wordsmiths I know, that’s the first time anything I’ve written has been called stunning!
      It is sad, it was written from my heart, and the sadness there is overwhelming sometimes.
      It comes and goes, like ripples on a pond, one little thought can start off a chain of events that usually end up one way.. a box of tissues and wet eyes.
      Thanks for everything Kathy, just knowing that there is a friend at the end of the phone, who understands is a great comfort ♥♥♥
      Much Love n many hugs
      xxxxx

  2. Aw bless you Seadog…There’s so much pain that you’re going through and it’s so hard to let go of when your heart feels so raw…I can assure you that I truly understand what you’re going through and when they say time’s a healer it’s not as time doesn’t heal it just eases a little as we accept our losses…Your Mum knew that even though you wasn’t with her on that day you was with her inside of her heart…Take care and don’t forget all the good times you had together when you feel at a low…We’re here for you always…Lynn

    • Thanks Lynn,
      I do so hope you are right.
      I’ll try and think of those good times, she would have hated to see me in such a state.
      Thanks for you advice to, andsupport, somedays I really fee llike I need it!
      Take care my friend,
      Love n hugs
      xxx

  3. Oh Seadog … I’m SO sad for you ….. what’s worse is this will stay with you for ever … their actions cannot be undone …
    Sending you the biggest squeezy comforting hugs possible … Please don’t feel you’re to blame … You are NOT .. !!!! .. It’s easy to be wise in hindsight …. Alas the N.H.S. is a bigger machine than we are …. and Yes it is failing us terribly … Nye Bevan would be turning in his grave …LOTS of love and comfort .. as well as my deepest condolences …. XXXXXXXXXXXX

  4. HI Sarah,
    It’s so good to see you 🙂
    Sorry it’s under such sad circumstances..
    Hope life is treating you well, where are you these days?
    Thank you for your kind words, and love and comfort, it’s tough at the moment.
    Hope to see you again soon,
    lots of love n hugs to you dear friend
    xxxxxx

  5. Beautifully written. Your writings has a lot of warmth & love.

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