Time – He’s waiting in the wings
He speaks of sensless things
His script is you and me….
Time…. now there’s a thing… friend or foe….
When you are young, time is an unquantifiable thing..
minutes seem like days, christmas never comes….
You get a bit older & all of a sudden days seem like minutes,
and you are left thinking ” where did that go?”
7 years ago today my gran died age 99.
after a short ilness caused by a stroke. She had had a long and eventful life, but time finally caught up with her,
and it was just 6 weeks from admission to final release>
This time 7 years ago, time seemed to stand still,
as we rushed around all the legal departments
getting certificates, and making arrangements
for her funeral.
There was the sudden realisation
that there was no more time for chats, and laughs, sharing stories, and enjoying each others company.
We had spent most of Christmas in the hospital,visiting my Gran, and supporting my Mum in her visits to the hospital.
That last night we saw her was Monday 9th January
and I remember my Mum saying that she
was worried about my gran as she was getting weaker
and more confused and strugglingto breath,
and that she wanted to stay at the hospital longer
as she had a bad feeling about her.
To be honest I agreed, my Gran was going downhill
but because she was such a fighter
I thought she would last the week out
and that she might pass on the Friday.
Mum reluctantly agreed and we went home about 10.30pm….
How wrong can you be?
At 2.30am the hospital phoned my Mum to say that my Gran had inded taken a turn for the worse, and that she needed to get there quickly as she was dying.
How do hospitals and nurses know this?
How many people have received that call
and got to the hospital to find their
loved one gone or just about to go?
Mum called us straight away to let us know,and we got to the hospital about 30 minutes after she had died.
For my Gran it was a release, she was 99, blind in one eye,
very short sighted in the other, doubly incontinent, and pretty much deaf in both ears and had stated that when her time came, she wasn’t afraid of what was coming after,
just the dying part of it, and that
really she was quite ready to go.
My Mum spent the rest of her life thinking about my gran,
full of regrets and should have’s and could have’s…..
which is ironic really because that
is just how I feel about my Mum…
If only’s and what if’s???
I look back at that Christmas and this time then and think…..
Was that really 7 years go???
Where did those 99 years of her life go?
Forever in my heart
Till we meet again……
Catherine – My Gran
24.12.1906 – 10.1.2006
99 Years 17 days
I originally published a version of this a few years ago
and have repeated updated versions every
10th January, in her memory
She was a formidable woman, but I still miss her.
Does it get any easier as the years go by?
I don’t think it does get easier,the loss of any one close to you is always a huge shock whether they are old or not.
What has happened is that as time has passed, I have become used to that person not being around any more,
My Dad, My Mum, My Gran, people that I have loved and that have died, as the memories fade, so does the pain,
until it is triggered by a date, a sound, a smell,
or one particular thought that floats in to my mind,
then all those represssed memories come rushing to the surface again, bringing with them that familiar ache of grief,
and the clock starts ticking until the next event.
Time – friend or foe?
One day I will work it out