Bonjour Mes Amis!

Hi folks, 

well the weekend beckons, and instead of going to a boring and very annoying football match, me and Mrs Dog are off to gay (ooerr) Paris (sorry Bel ), for a weekend of relaxation and culture, and who knows maybe even a bit of romance.    

Mrs Dog particularly wants to go to the Henri Cartier Bresson museum ( a famous photographer..M.Bresson that is , not the museum), to see his photos, and just to chill out for a few days enjoying the scenery, the ambience, and hopefully the good weather.

I will report on this when I get back after next week, 

have a good weekend bloggers,

Byeeee!

Ps.

On a footy related note, sorry can’t help it,

 

               COME ON YOU VILLA BOYS!

 

and Newcastle at the Sty, your  country needs you to send these ersatz footballers back to the depths of where they belong!

 

 

A french man today after finding out that Mr. & Mrs. Dog were due in town tomorrow

 

 

 

      

Caption Competition

In an effort to cheer myself up after the previous blog , I have decided to start a caption competition.

 

 

Please feel free to leave a comment

Prizes will be ……er …..non-existent, apart from a ranking in the Dog Kennel of Fame.

Thanks

We Waz Robbed!

    For fucks sake!!

Don’t those bone idle fuckers realise that we STILL aren’t safe?

Last nights performance was little short of complete trash….no in fact it was worse.. it was shite!

Man City, who are on a worse run  than Paula Radcliffe in an Athens marathon, come to Villa Park , full of woe, and one Darius Vassell.

The Villa boys, who have just beaten the blues ,and played well at Wigan but lost, need one more point to be mathematically safe from RELEGATION .

This has got draw written all over it.

Lets get one thing one thing straight.

Man City are shit. Stuart Pearce is a good manager , but still learning. They were there for the taking.

Lets get another thing straight.

We are just as bad. A draw would have been a fair result, two very poor teams playing and end of season game that meant absolutely fuck all. Just one more point boys , no worries .

I think we started out with a 3 – 5 -2 formation.

Why change from 4-4-2 ?

Perhaps O’leary didnt want to piss off any of the centre backs. Melberg back fit, Cahill scores a wonder goal against the shit, and Ridgewell….er being Ridgewell.

Jlloyd & Hughes as wing backs , JP Angel & Baros up front.

Hmm… that actually doesn’t sound too bad

EXCEPT

Hughes was shit all game, Jlloyd didn’t really know where to play, though I think a wing back / attacking midfield role suits him, Milner tried as he usually does, Barry showed touches of class, then seemd like it was too much trouble for him, McCann KEEPS giving the ball away….

Jp had a good game, he looked liked he cared, but the biggest crtisism has to be for

MILAN BAROS

who looked liked he couldn’t really give a fuck and was of on his hollibobs to that World cup thing that is happening in june/july.

When Ablongahor (you want to try saying that when you have had a few!) came on for Baros, we started to have a go, but at that stage yes….as usual.. an ex villa player comes and scores against us.

Fucking Hell!!!    

On comes Super Kevin Phillps, 4 mins overtime, it is written, we will get a goal.

Which duly comes with about 1 minute t ogo.

Cue much jumping up and down and coming in ones trousers.

But not to be.

Fucking offside! What a load of bollox. (it wasn’t offside, don’t these linos know the fucking rules?)

Game over.. 1 – 0 to one of the poorest teams that have played there this season, still in the mix, though I do agree with our managers view that whilst were wern’t good enough to win it (he’s got to be kidding!) we didn’t deserve to lose, and a draw would have been fair.

If you dont try then what do you expect?

Season ticket next season?   At this moment in time…not a fucking chance! I am not going to cough nearly £500 smackers each for me and the old growler (thats Mrs. Dog ) to go and watch that shit.

Fuck ’em.

I can’t write any more now as I have managed to piss myself off by ranting on so much, so I will come back when I have calmed down .

Laters Dudes

 

 

 

Highs and Lows

 Looks like its 3-2 to Wigan as I write.

Bollocks

Three more games to go, two at home, the usually solid defence has gone to pieces and they have conceeded 12 goals in the last 3 away games.

Not good enough.

The sooner this season finishes the better I think,  so that we can get on with the next one, hopefully which will be better than this one.

Still , they seem to have had a go tonight, and I will certainly be watching Sky in a min to see the highlights.

After the immense high of sunday, possibly ,if not the best footballing day I have had, it rates up there in the top 5 ( beating Arsenal 3-2 when Santa tried to kill himself on December evening, Chelsea 2-1…. there are a few!), tonight brings you back down to earth.

Oh well, bring on Man City next week, see what happens then.

 

Have been space hopping quite a bit recently and have come across quite a few good ones, check out some of the links especially testarticles, great music, great space, with a little bit of sauce and spice to boot!

Cahill Scores Wonder Goal!

 

 

This picture needs no introduction.

Please feel free to copy it ,or alternatively go to :

http://www.avfc.premiumtv.co.uk/page/Home

and click on derby day wall paper.

 

Well Done Villa!

Seventh Heaven

     There are times in your life when you wonder why  the fuck you do things.

For me this mainly revolves around going to Villa Park where i have seen some absolute crap.

Then suddenly out of the blue something happens that makes you realise why you keeep going.

Sunday 16th April 2006

Easter Sunday

The claret and blue glory boys finally put the blues hoodoo to rest and we did the double over them, beating them 3- 1. 

 I am so fucking happy I could shit!

At last I can go into work tomorrow with a large smug grin on me chops and donate tons of stick to all the bluenoses that have given me shit for the last 3 years.

What makes it even sweeter is that we have probably relagated them as well.

Sometimes life is soooo sweet.

I have given the villa shit on more than one occasion in these  pages, so now the time has come for me to say

 

        Thank You Villa! 

 

 

I have only just sobered up after a night of celebrating, what a day , what a result!

And to make it even better I broke a rule of life and actually recored the match so I will be able to enjoy it even more!!

Enough football… oh alright    3-1 ,3-1, 3-1, 3-1! We’ll meet again, dont know where , dont know when,  but I know we’ll meet again some sunny day!!!!!

ok ok ok………

Went to St Neots ( down the A14) after the match to stay at some friends for the night, and it turns out that I have a cousin that lives in St. Neots that I have never met, and even more coincidental, she lives 200 yards from our friends house, so after scrubbing my mouth cleans of beery and winey wafts we sullied forth to meet this new (to us) member of my extended family.

And jolly glad I am that we did, as she is very nice.

She also has got loads of photos of my gran and her siblings and family from when they were young ( 1920s ish).Some great photos, well worth the visit………..

I cant help this… I’m sorry but…no I’m not sorry really….

 

THE SHIT ARE GOING DOWN!!!!     

 

 

I will continue this later as i’m afraid that all I can think about is sundays result, which for me is absolutely fucking fantastic, but for you, my growing band of reader (s), it must be piss boring.

Sorry…..not really!!!

Catch up with you soon.

 

 

 

An apology

With reference to the entry titlled Lip up Fatty

I have just re read this entry and I feel that some of the comments might have been biased and unfair.

I wish to aplogise for any offence these comments might have caused to barrys curry house and toileting facilities.

 

 

 a toilet                            a large shit   

Lip up Fatty!

Fuck me!!

did anyone see that program last night " Britains Fattest Man " ?

Is that the fattest fucker you have ever seen.

Barry Austen, for that  is the title of  the aforementioned fat git , weighs 50 stones and has weighed as much as 65 stones.

What a fat turd.

And he supports the blues.

Big fat Barry ( who has a heart of gold apparently) cannot stop eating and consumes 2 big breakfast fry ups, 40 pints of lager and 3 baltis with all the trimmings !

He has been known when he has been lagging (his words), to go to his local curry house ( who must rub their hands together when big bazza walks in ) and order  the entire menu !

What a greedy bastard !

Poor old barry complains that his quality of life isn’t very good due to being such a large fellow, but to be fair doesn’t blame anyone else but himself.

Big fucking deal.

Who is the one eating all this food and drinking all this drink ? Is it barrys long suffering partner debs ?

No its barry, who is not being force fed anything. He even had his jaws wired together to stop him eating, but cut the wires himself because he was starving !!

Dear oh dear oh dear.

Bazza admitted that ‘life would be much easier’ if he was thin. ‘I can’t go swimming, I have to think what supermarket I have to go to because of turnstiles, and it is difficult to fly because I need to pay for three seats.’ He said he was not embarrassed about his weight because he had brought it on himself, but said he suffered from discrimination in the workplace. ‘They think I am perfect on the phone, then when I go in they try everything to get out of giving me employment "

Wait on a minute….. all this consumption of grub and beery comestibles doesn’t come cheap.

That , plus taxis etc and entry to the sty ,must cost a pretty penny I wager….. who the fuck is paying for all this ?

think about that next time your council tax bill comes  out , or your tax bill goes up …….

yes… you mate.. and me!

 

 a very fat bloke           a breakfast

    yesterday

Thriller at The villa

The stress and strains of the last week have finally caught up with me

West Brom should really have won that match today, a cast iron penalty not given, missed chances form both sides….. at least we didn’t loose.

The rumour mill is running wild at B6, with tales of impending disaster for the man from Ireland, with a deadly doug / car park /revolving door / sack  interface resulting in many potatoes been hurled into the air in joy as Mr. O’Leary finally quits the hallowed grounds for good. to be replaced by Claudio Ranieri (much chucking of pasta upwards).

Hmmm….. Will doug want to pay a 2yr compensation deal to young Dave?

Not a fucking chance.

Will doug want to keep him on… possibly…and give him £20 mill to spend in the summer…

Not a fucking chance.

So…lets be realistic. No extra cash, no players in, a few seasoned pros out ( some the sooner the better), a decreased squad, more young players in from the youth squad…

result

 

         RELEGATION!

 

think about that folks.

Unless….

A plan!

Dont give Dave anything at summer…. He gets pissed off… hands in resignation…NO PAY OFF!!

Result ( for doug)

Get new manager in.

Time will tell regarding the O’leary affair, I think he has been overrated as a manager and has lived on one good season at leeds for far too long.

Time to go..please.

 

Anyway apart from the above footballing matters, today has been quite a big day for me and Mrs. Dog, for today we have been together for 20 years..

fuck me thats a long time!

 

Also its Mrs. Dogs mums birthday today, so we took her out for a carvery meal for lunch, which was quite nice, but appears to have given me the tom tits ,as my arse is now like the start of bonanza!

Next up  the Blues at Villa Park.. Easter Sunday.. 12.00 midday.

let battle commence

 

    COME ON VILLA!

you can do it.

 

 

 

 

 

Hoss (from bonanza)     an arse

Massacre at Highbury

  Well, all it needed was for that Terry Henry fellow to score a hat trick and the day would have been completely shit.

5 fucking nil! 

I was going to have a massive rant, but I can’t really see the good it would do , apart from making me feel a tad better.

Out played from start to finish, the Arsenal were playing with the villa for at least 88 mins, we had a couple of really good chances, but couldn’t put them away.

Two local derbies next, that can go any way, if we lose those its time for a picture of shit to appear here coz thats where we will be…right in it.

To quote a previous entry,

I feel the clock is ticking for Mr O’Leary

 

Those asswipe blues not losing to those other asswipe blues (chelsea) was a bit of a gutter, portsmouth winning has really put the pressure on WBA, some in homeage to Retired PrawnStar:

 

 

   COME ON YOU REDS!  

 

If ever the Villa needed a favour,  today is the day. As I write Super Robbie Fowler has put one in the net, come on Liverpool!!

Anyway, I was suppossed to be going to the Dive Show in that London in those Docklands today, but I really couldn’t be arsed.

Too far, weather was shit..couldn’t get  out of bed…. you know , all the excuses.

So instead me and Mrs. Dog are off  for a pile wrinkling, rockford stretching rubby murray at our local establishment to nosh away our sorrows.

And also to celebrate the hitting of a personal milestone..yup when I got on the scales this morning, after the usual weight removal sessions, the  trusty weighing implements  informed me that I now weigh 13 stones!

 Ho fatty I hear you think, but not so Mr. Presumptious for I have shed 2 stones to get to this

weight after a lot of fucking hard work and no curries or beer.

I just need to get another 1/2 a stone off, and keep it off and I will be happy.

Admittedly tonights chalfont style exercise isnt going to help much, but you have to have some pleasures in life…dont you.

So I am loooking forward to that, next weeks derby with WBA, and easter sunday with the other derby with the shit.

More updates to follow when I get the chance.

 

Fuck Me!! that was hot!